Thursday, July 20, 2006
I bet it was Dad who stole this cat
http://www.dispatch.com/news-story.php?story=dispatch/2006/07/18/20060718-B3-03.html
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Homecoming, poison ivy, and X-ray vision
Helllllloooooo.... Is there anybody out there? WELCOME HOME, TESSY!!!!
I have poison ivy on my face. By Sunday morning it had gone to my eyelids. The left one was all swelled up. I didn't go to church on Sunday. By Monday I had it in my throat. I went to the doctor and now I'm on the roids, so try not to be too jealous of the toned physique and cute little goatee I will shortly be developing.
I was framing some pictures to hang, and I showed one to Wes. "This is the goods," I said. He looked at it. "What is this, your dad? he asked. "Yup", I said, "but more importantly, look at what he's holding -- that's good blackmail right there, that is!" Wes said, "You mean the rabbit he's holding?"
Dun dun DUN.
I looked closely.
Wes and his stupid Superman X-ray vision. He's right. It IS a rabbit that dad is holding in that picture. And all these years I thought it was a cat. Stupid me. Stupid no more blackmail.
I have poison ivy on my face. By Sunday morning it had gone to my eyelids. The left one was all swelled up. I didn't go to church on Sunday. By Monday I had it in my throat. I went to the doctor and now I'm on the roids, so try not to be too jealous of the toned physique and cute little goatee I will shortly be developing.
I was framing some pictures to hang, and I showed one to Wes. "This is the goods," I said. He looked at it. "What is this, your dad? he asked. "Yup", I said, "but more importantly, look at what he's holding -- that's good blackmail right there, that is!" Wes said, "You mean the rabbit he's holding?"
Dun dun DUN.
I looked closely.
Wes and his stupid Superman X-ray vision. He's right. It IS a rabbit that dad is holding in that picture. And all these years I thought it was a cat. Stupid me. Stupid no more blackmail.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
A Basket of Poo
Today I happened to notice a short story that I wrote exactly a year ago. Although you've seen it before, I thought I would post it for your enjoyment:
*********************
A Basket of Poo
Mr. and Mrs. Smith bought a house. “Look, look,” said Mr. Smith. “It is a nice house.”
“It is a very pretty house,” said Mrs. Smith. “We should have pets to live in this pretty house with us.”
Many pets came to live with Mr. and Mrs. Smith in the pretty house. Some of the pets were big. Some of them were small. All of the pets were stupid.
“Look, look,” said Mrs. Smith. “See our stupid pets. We have a stupid dog, and two stupid cats, and stupid fish.”
Mr. and Mrs. Smith did not know that stupid mice also lived in their house. One day Mrs. Smith came home. There was a mouse in the kitchen.
“Look, look,” screamed Mrs. Smith. “Look, stupid cats. There is a mouse.” The cats did not say anything. They were too stupid.
Another day Mr. Smith said, “Look, look, Mrs. Smith. There is a mouse running around the living room.” Mrs. Smith stood on the couch. “Look, look, Mr. Smith,” she screamed. “Catch the stupid mouse.”
Mr. Smith caught the mouse and put it outside. The next day Mrs. Smith went downstairs to feed the stupid cats. She put her hand in the bag of cat food. She screamed and ran up the stairs.
“Look, look, Mr. Smith!” she said. “There is a mouse in the bag of cat food.” Mr. Smith went downstairs. He was down there for a long time. He did not tell Mrs. Smith what he did with the mouse in the bag of cat food. She did not ask.
After that, Mr. and Mrs. Smith saw many stupid mice. One day Mr. Smith said, “Look, look, Mrs. Smith. Our cats are too stupid to catch mice. We should not have stupid pet mice in our house. We should buy mouse traps.”
“You are right,” said Mrs. Smith. So the next day she bought mouse traps at the store.
Mr. Smith took a mouse trap. He put peanut butter in it. He took it downstairs and put it in the closet next to the bag of cat food. “Look, look, Mrs. Smith,” he said. “I will catch the stupid mouse that likes to eat cat food.”
“Why don’t you look in the closet and see if you can find the mouse nest?” asked Mrs. Smith.
“You are right,” said Mr. Smith. So he looked in the closet. In the closet were many things. There were baseball gloves and volleyball knee pads and jump ropes. There were knee braces and shin guards and baseball bats. There was also a large basket to put all those things in.
Mr. Smith took the basket out of the closet and looked in it. When he had taken out the baseball gloves and volleyball knee pads and jump ropes and knee braces and shin guards and baseball bats, there were still several large lumps of something left in the basket. It looked like thousands and thousands of tiny somethings that had clumped together into three large piles.
“Look, look, Mrs. Smith,” he said. She came downstairs and looked.
“What is that?” she asked.
“It is a basket of mouse poo,” said Mr. Smith.
Mrs. Smith said a word. She said the word in Dutch.
“That’s right,” said Mr. Smith. “Poo.”
*********************
A Basket of Poo
Mr. and Mrs. Smith bought a house. “Look, look,” said Mr. Smith. “It is a nice house.”
“It is a very pretty house,” said Mrs. Smith. “We should have pets to live in this pretty house with us.”
Many pets came to live with Mr. and Mrs. Smith in the pretty house. Some of the pets were big. Some of them were small. All of the pets were stupid.
“Look, look,” said Mrs. Smith. “See our stupid pets. We have a stupid dog, and two stupid cats, and stupid fish.”
Mr. and Mrs. Smith did not know that stupid mice also lived in their house. One day Mrs. Smith came home. There was a mouse in the kitchen.
“Look, look,” screamed Mrs. Smith. “Look, stupid cats. There is a mouse.” The cats did not say anything. They were too stupid.
Another day Mr. Smith said, “Look, look, Mrs. Smith. There is a mouse running around the living room.” Mrs. Smith stood on the couch. “Look, look, Mr. Smith,” she screamed. “Catch the stupid mouse.”
Mr. Smith caught the mouse and put it outside. The next day Mrs. Smith went downstairs to feed the stupid cats. She put her hand in the bag of cat food. She screamed and ran up the stairs.
“Look, look, Mr. Smith!” she said. “There is a mouse in the bag of cat food.” Mr. Smith went downstairs. He was down there for a long time. He did not tell Mrs. Smith what he did with the mouse in the bag of cat food. She did not ask.
After that, Mr. and Mrs. Smith saw many stupid mice. One day Mr. Smith said, “Look, look, Mrs. Smith. Our cats are too stupid to catch mice. We should not have stupid pet mice in our house. We should buy mouse traps.”
“You are right,” said Mrs. Smith. So the next day she bought mouse traps at the store.
Mr. Smith took a mouse trap. He put peanut butter in it. He took it downstairs and put it in the closet next to the bag of cat food. “Look, look, Mrs. Smith,” he said. “I will catch the stupid mouse that likes to eat cat food.”
“Why don’t you look in the closet and see if you can find the mouse nest?” asked Mrs. Smith.
“You are right,” said Mr. Smith. So he looked in the closet. In the closet were many things. There were baseball gloves and volleyball knee pads and jump ropes. There were knee braces and shin guards and baseball bats. There was also a large basket to put all those things in.
Mr. Smith took the basket out of the closet and looked in it. When he had taken out the baseball gloves and volleyball knee pads and jump ropes and knee braces and shin guards and baseball bats, there were still several large lumps of something left in the basket. It looked like thousands and thousands of tiny somethings that had clumped together into three large piles.
“Look, look, Mrs. Smith,” he said. She came downstairs and looked.
“What is that?” she asked.
“It is a basket of mouse poo,” said Mr. Smith.
Mrs. Smith said a word. She said the word in Dutch.
“That’s right,” said Mr. Smith. “Poo.”
My thoughts
I think that all grownups should get a 3-month summer vacation. With pay.
Teenagers could continue to run Dairy Queens for us, so we'd be able to get our ice cream. And that's all you really need in the summer, right?
Teenagers could continue to run Dairy Queens for us, so we'd be able to get our ice cream. And that's all you really need in the summer, right?
Monday, July 10, 2006
I saw a dead possum this morning
Is that thrilling or what?
We finished our winter projects on Saturday. Only about 3 months or so behind schedule, eh? But there is now a bannister in the upstairs hallway along the stairwell, making it much more difficult to fall down the stairs from the side, so that's nice.
We watched 4 movies this weekend:
The new Pirates of the Caribbean
Swingers
The Princess Bride
Hitch
This is what we are forced to do now that we have finished the high-pressure need to work on that particular remodelling project -- relax. It is a strange sensation indeed.
We finished our winter projects on Saturday. Only about 3 months or so behind schedule, eh? But there is now a bannister in the upstairs hallway along the stairwell, making it much more difficult to fall down the stairs from the side, so that's nice.
We watched 4 movies this weekend:
The new Pirates of the Caribbean
Swingers
The Princess Bride
Hitch
This is what we are forced to do now that we have finished the high-pressure need to work on that particular remodelling project -- relax. It is a strange sensation indeed.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Update on Paul Janssen
The latest update from Chuck late Thursday night:
Paul is being kept in an induced coma in order to stop him from fighting the ventilator and other tubes going into and out of his body. The primary problem is his lungs. They were badly bruised in the accident, and he inhaled water while lying unconscious in a ditch. The ventilator and induced coma are to allow his lungs to begin healing. The idea is to gradually bring him out of the coma and encourage his lungs to work by themselves.
He went through a crisis on Wednesday evening. His chest cavity began to fill up with air, and his blood oxygen, pulse and blood pressure readings went down. The doctor (the doctor who was on call that night, who "happened" to be the chief of that department) called in Chuck and Shelley and said, "We are running out of options here." He did, however, say that as a last-ditch effort, they would change the ventilator tube. Chuck and Shelly went back out to the waiting room while that was being done and began to storm Heaven with prayer.
Within a few hours, Paul's vital signs had improved to a point where they were even better than before. Later that morning, the doctor saw Chuck in the hospital cafeteria and told him that he was amazed at Paul's recovery. He confessed that the night before, he had not had much hope of Paul's survival. The doctor recommended that Chuck and Shelley continue to pray, because "we are seeing a real miracle here." The doctor, by the way, is Jewish.
In the meantime, Paul's regular doctor (the one who has been in charge of his case since the accident) had expressed concern that no one had seen Paul move his legs. He told the Janssens he was going to order an MRI to see if there was a blood clot in the spine. Now, that morning, before speaking to the doctor, Chuck had suddenly recalled an old song we used to sing, that goes something like this: "Every place on which your foot shall tread, I have given it to you, I have given it to you..." Chuck was impressed to sing this song over Paul and pray for fulfillment of that promise---this was still before the doctor had expressed concern about Paul's legs. After the doctor talked to them about it, Chuck told Shelley about the song. Shelley's mouth dropped open, and she said, "But the Lord reminded ME about that song this morning, too, and I sang it over Paul!"
They laid hands on Paul's legs and began to pray. Paul moved his left leg back and forth. They ran out to tell a nurse, and she went in and saw Paul's leg move, too. When it was reported to the doctor, his mouth fell open. He cancelled the planned MRI.
So for now, prayer continues to be needed for Paul's lungs to heal. The plan, at this point, is to gradually bring him out of the coma over several days and see if he can breathe on his own.
Paul is being kept in an induced coma in order to stop him from fighting the ventilator and other tubes going into and out of his body. The primary problem is his lungs. They were badly bruised in the accident, and he inhaled water while lying unconscious in a ditch. The ventilator and induced coma are to allow his lungs to begin healing. The idea is to gradually bring him out of the coma and encourage his lungs to work by themselves.
He went through a crisis on Wednesday evening. His chest cavity began to fill up with air, and his blood oxygen, pulse and blood pressure readings went down. The doctor (the doctor who was on call that night, who "happened" to be the chief of that department) called in Chuck and Shelley and said, "We are running out of options here." He did, however, say that as a last-ditch effort, they would change the ventilator tube. Chuck and Shelly went back out to the waiting room while that was being done and began to storm Heaven with prayer.
Within a few hours, Paul's vital signs had improved to a point where they were even better than before. Later that morning, the doctor saw Chuck in the hospital cafeteria and told him that he was amazed at Paul's recovery. He confessed that the night before, he had not had much hope of Paul's survival. The doctor recommended that Chuck and Shelley continue to pray, because "we are seeing a real miracle here." The doctor, by the way, is Jewish.
In the meantime, Paul's regular doctor (the one who has been in charge of his case since the accident) had expressed concern that no one had seen Paul move his legs. He told the Janssens he was going to order an MRI to see if there was a blood clot in the spine. Now, that morning, before speaking to the doctor, Chuck had suddenly recalled an old song we used to sing, that goes something like this: "Every place on which your foot shall tread, I have given it to you, I have given it to you..." Chuck was impressed to sing this song over Paul and pray for fulfillment of that promise---this was still before the doctor had expressed concern about Paul's legs. After the doctor talked to them about it, Chuck told Shelley about the song. Shelley's mouth dropped open, and she said, "But the Lord reminded ME about that song this morning, too, and I sang it over Paul!"
They laid hands on Paul's legs and began to pray. Paul moved his left leg back and forth. They ran out to tell a nurse, and she went in and saw Paul's leg move, too. When it was reported to the doctor, his mouth fell open. He cancelled the planned MRI.
So for now, prayer continues to be needed for Paul's lungs to heal. The plan, at this point, is to gradually bring him out of the coma over several days and see if he can breathe on his own.
Monday, July 03, 2006
a few photos
sorry, right now i'm too tired to explain in detail these photos. the one of me and naoki was taken my last night at Helan's house. notice the short hair. Naoki gave me his baseball hat from his Japanese team, that's what I'm wearing. and the other two photos are from Ingrid's homestay, it's a really nice house, lots of old and antique stuff...i'll explain it later. just thought you might like to have a peek at it. okay, nitey nite for me! enjoy the 4th of July.
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